Sometimes I wonder whether we’re doing the right thing for Dad. Would he get better care somewhere with properly trained people available 24×7? Our home doesn’t automatically accommodate his changing needs. It takes time. If he’s in pain it can take us a while to get the right help. We can’t be with him every second of every minute of every day. Even when we’re at home, we might be helping Bear with homework, making food, halfway upstairs with a pile of washing, or in the shower.

This afternoon I was sitting with Dad. He knows he’s dependent on us. He thought it must be difficult. It’s hard to explain but it’s a bit like bringing Bear home for the first time. I wasn’t trained or qualified, but I knew instinctively how I wanted to care for him. Mr. Invisible and I made up the details as we went along but basically we didn’t want him to cry or be distressed. It’s the same with Dad. I’d rather he was in our home with people who not only love him but know him. He wants to be here too. So I guess we are doing the right thing for Dad. At least for now. But it doesn’t do any harm to keep asking. Just to make sure.